Wonderful Sunday!! :D

I know this is a pretty small picture, but it has a picture of me with my Viola that I Love so dearly! hehehe! She's my baby! I got to play her with my Ward Choir! We did Lead Kindly Light(pg. 97 in the current LDS Hymn book) I played a solo between vs. 2 and 3! It was awesome because my ward found out something about me they never knew before! haha! Actually I don't know what they all think, they think I'm pretty amazing because I have a Calling that I Love like crazy and it keeps me sane in Life's activities! ;) Anyways, It was so fun! I Love the new chapels! They have such great accoustics that I feel so big and I can play as loudly as I want to! Most people don't know what a Viola is, and when they hear it, they are amazed that it isn't a Violin! Trust me Viola is a lot different than the Violin, it is Bigger than the Violin, as well as it sounds lower(it's an alto instrument like the Clarinet, the French horn, and the Alto Sax). Imagine this k. pretend that the string instruments are humans in a choir. the First and Second violins would be the 1st and 2nd Sopranos, the Violas would be the Altos, the Cellos are the Tenors, and the String bass is of course the Bass! :D And also the Viola has a different Clef.




This is the Viola or the Movable "C" Clef movable? How? Well you know what a music staff looks like on the piano? Well imagine the C clef on there. if the point of that clef is in the middle it's called the Alto Clef, if it is hitting where the Note "D" would be with the Treble Clef(if you don't know where that is it is the second line down from the top on the staff when you're reading treble clef), that is called the Tenor Clef, If the C clef is below the staff, it is called the Baritone clef. Are you bored yet? LOL Anyways, let me get back to what I was talking about! :D


Anyways, I got a lot of attention today! And it was a lot of fun! I Just Love my Ward! Orem University 7th ward is pretty much amazing! :D It was Ward Conference today! And let me tell ya! It was so amazing! :D I needed to hear a lot of what was said in Sacrament meeting, Sunday School, and Relief Society! The Stake Relief Society President is pretty much amazing! She talked about different ways that Heavenly Father speaks to us. And she mentioned some of the basic ones... One of them was what the world would call a "Random Thought", a strong feeling around your heart, the Chills, and kind of a shower type deal up and down your back. And others! And then she talked about her Son that she Adopted from Haiti about a month ago! And that took like 27 months for them to get him and he's 2 years old. And so dang CUTE(she brought a picture!!! :D) Anyways, she told us to look up a devotional talk that Jeffery R. Holland gave in March of 1999 Cast Not Away Therefore your ConfidenceAnd She then mentioned in closing the best Quote I've ever heard that I have needed to hear and probably my most favorite quote ever!! :D

It's extremely important for you to believe in yourselves, not only for what you are now, but for what you have the power to become. Trust in the Lord as he leads you along. He has things for you to do that you won't know about now, but that will be revealed later. If you stay close to Him, you will have some great adventures. The Lord will unfold your future bit by bit.

Isn't that so dang Awesome?!! I totally needed to hear that cause most of my life I've felt really down with my self esteem, the only time I remember that I had pretty good self esteem was when I was a senior in High School, I was in the best shape I could ever be in! I had a lot of compliments on not only my hair but of how good I looked in everything I wore! I want so much to get back to that! Feeling so good about myself, and feeling like that I am actually beautiful with out having to tell myself 10 times in the mirror every single day! I want to be able to confidently say that I am beautiful! I don't want people to just compliment on my hair, but how I look in general(you know what I mean?) I know I'm beautiful, I'm just not confident in myself, I haven't been confident in myself, and if I can only remember one time I was actually confident enough to be like wow! I can handle this! I like they way that I actually look and feel. NO BODY Has called me fat or even degraded my body, I'm starting to go back to my old self to what I looked like before Swim Team, and I don't really like that Idea! :( I want to be able to feel confident with out having to feel like to wear a jacket because it hides my blobe in the middle! :P Even though there are people out there that Love me for who I am and not for what I look like, I'm just very self caucious, I need to motivate myself to just go and get fit! Some how get a membership somewhere (like gold's gym) and go Swimming laps! Eat more healthy foods! And defeat the Cravings! haha! Or even just have someone with me to just push me to achieve my goals. Now, I'm just rambling. but yeah, welcome to the Story of my life! Miss Low self-esteem girl... haha! Trust me I'll be changing that whether I get fit or not! I'm doing a lot of activities with my ward and what not! totally look forward to it! I just wonder if I should get my inhaler so I can have the extra help with the Athletic enduce asthma? hmm... I'm pretty good in the water, I know how to control my breathing in the water... but when I run, jog, and what not... I have the hardest time controling it... after playing basketball or volleyball(which you hardly do anything on except if you play queens court) I don't really have a hard time! I'm going to end on a happy note!! hehehe! My stake is starting to do a Volleyball tournaments on Thursdays through the month of march on to the first part of April! So totally excited! I'm totally going to do it! Volleyball is so much fun! I have fun playing it! I'm not really that competitive I just want to have fun! :D So I'm totally excited for that! Besides it'll be a distraction and somewhat a therapy to coop with Aunt Delene in the Hospital. :D Oh man! Playing my Viola felt so good today! I Love playing it! I don't think I could live with out it! My Viola is totally my life right now! I practiced it like forever long yesterday because I didn't want to think about things way too much... and I needed to relieve some stress, Oh I look forward to playing my viola again hopefully tomorrow even if it is for just 5 minutes! :D Especially where when I get home I have about a half hour rest then I'm off to FHE! Tomorrow I'm going to see the Princess and the Frog at Movies 8! So totally excited! ;) I haven't seen that movie yet... I heard it's pretty cute, I heard it's kinda cheezy. But I'll give it a try! :D

Prayers for my Aunt Delene! :(

This is my Aunt Delene, she is In the hospital as a result to a Stroke and a fall. As well as the fact she has heart failure and her kidneys are failing as well, she's doing better today, because they took her off sedation... but We're not sure what's going to happen at this point whether she's going to make it or just go home to Heavenly Father and my Great Grandma and Grandpa Houskeeper. But it's all my Family and I ask is your prayers! :D

She's pretty much like another Grandma for me as well as another mother for my Mom and Aunts on my mom's side!

Tears of Hope! :D

A month ago today was the day that My cousin Colette was born into my Cousin Julia's Wonderful family to live a few hours with us, then go back home to Heavenly Father and our Family members that are waiting so patiently for us to come back as well! My cousin Julia Shared Angel Colette's Story. It's so beautiful! It brought such tears to my eyes! I surely look forward to seeing and meeting her when it is my time to go back! But for now it's my time to learn to endure through this experience and Test called Life. I hope you guys enjoy it! It truly does bring hope in our lives! I Truly Love this Gospel, and truly grateful for the Atonement! For if it didn't exist I don't think I would even be here right now! I know that this gospel is true, and I know that the Atonement works, I don't know how it works, I just know it does! It has helped me through so many trials so far in my almost 20 years of my life, that it took me long enough to finally accept it during High School! I don't want to push it away now, I want to live it! I have my life ahead of me and want to make the best of it! :D My Love Goes out to Julia as she may dread the Month Anniversary! And I hope she may feel at peace to make it through the day as well as her little Family! A Song just came to my head ironically enough it is playing on my ipod. "... It was that I realized that forever was in your eyes the moment I saw you cry. I wanted to hold you I wanted to make it go away. I wanted to know you, I wanted to make your everything." (Cry By: Mandy Moore from a Walk to Remember) That was the part that poked out at me! Julia! I hope you and your family will be able to feel some peace as we celebrate and remember Little Colette Eliza Chadwick! And I hope we all know that she is there waiting ever so patiently for us to come home! Lets not fail, but let us strive to do our best to be in the Celestial Kingdom with her and the rest of our Forever Family! :D

Life is getting a little Easier! :D

Life being Single is getting easier now! I'm actually enjoying being able to flirt again and being able to check guys out with out feeling too guilty or anything! And also going on dates a little more often! I actually have a Date this coming Friday with a guy in my ward! His name is Larry, and he used to work at JCpenny, and Bath and Body works when he lived in Colorado... so guess what we are doing? Yes, Going Shopping, and No! I wasn't the one that thought of it! He gets a discount for JCpenny still, and he wants to take me shopping to have that experience! haha! It still makes me laugh! I thought that Guys hate shopping, and he's offering me to go shopping for a date? Haha! I am not complaining! I just think it is funny and interesting that he wants to go shopping on a first date! It's also going to be interesting because we are going to the provo towne center, and neither of us have cars, I can ride the bus because of having a pass from UVU, and I can go anywhere I want to with out paying another penny! :D But I don't know if he has a bus pass, or even money to pay for the Bus fare to get there... And what not... So I will still have to talk to him about that...


This me with an M4 riffle! This thing is pretty much awesome!! It is a loud gun! But has a small kick which was nice! I'm a little sore from the other riffle that Tyler brought, Tyler rented this one from the place we were at to practice on! It was pretty awesome! This one was pretty much my favorite! :D


Me about ready to shoot!(actually it was unloaded... but yeah you get the picture) I Loved shooting this thing! It was freaking awesome!! :D



Me and My Aunt Celeste loading a .22 that my cousin Jayson's friend/roommate brought. It was the first Gun I shot! It's pretty nice to not have the shock of the kick yet... it helped me to get a feel of what it's like to shoot a gun. I also shot a 40 Cal, and a 45 Cal. Out of all of the pistols I shot, I like the 40, it has less of a kick and I didn't feel like I had to control my muscles to make sure I didn't go on a date that night with a Shinner or something! ;) haha! Not really, when I shot the 45 Cal. I was able to learn how to control my muscles, and I eventually had a fun time with both the 40 and the 45! Eventually I was shotting a round pretty quickly! My dad was like wow! you're on fire! and looks like you know what you're doing! All I could do was smile! It was pretty awesome! Tyler came in and showed me how fast he was able to do it! and he shot a magazine of 11 in like five seconds pretty much! haha! Then he was like done! And walked away! It was so much fun! I would Love to go again! I do admit I was pretty scared at first, but not so much anymore! I was able to have fun with it! :D My dad even asked me if he were to get a pistol would I go with him to a range to practice shooting? I said Oh yeah! :D


And Last night I went on a date! haha! It was so awesome! It was more fun than I thought it was going to be! ok, so it was a Valentine's Dinner, what the Activities committee did was they had all the guys bring ties and they labeled them with numbers for the girls to pick, and that number corridinated with a specific guy. And the committee gave them the girl's name and phone number. That guy was to pick the girl up, and take her to dinner, and sit with her for the Appetizer. When the Main course came out, the guys were to switch tables! So I sat with my date/ride for the Appetizer which his name was Nate Robbins(and yes! He was cute! And very nice! I enjoyed getting to know him! :D) then when the Main course came out(we had Lazangna) Matt Galley(Executive Secretary) sat by me... and Ironically enough, My Elementary School Principal sat between me and My friend Natalie Carter, haha! It was fun talking with him as well! haha! For Desert I sat with the biggest flirt in my ward, Evan Adams! Haha! He thought I was CRAZY for not liking Cake! I can't explain why... I just hate Cake! Some one heard that I don't like cake and they asked, What are you going to do at your wedding if you don't like cake? I don't know I hope I'm in the right mood to even have a bite! haha! It was kind of funny! But I only asked for Ice cream, and Evan said that the person dishing up cake gave Evan a weird look for saying no cake! I was like all well! When it comes to desert, I like Ice Cream cake, I can handle some pies, Cheesecake I Love! I can handle that! :D And I Love Browinies, cookies... it's just cake that I'm not a big fan of! It's easy to say no for me because I hate cake! I have to be in a mood for cake, and that can sometimes be once on a blue moon for me(ok... not really... but still it doesn't happen very often...) But yeah! It was so much fun! After the dinner, we split in four or five groups(I don't remember) and we played a version of "I have Never..." Where you ask people if they have done something... Like "Have you ever gone to Disneyland?" And those that have gone, run to another seat across from them... Does that make sense?

After the game, Nate and I went to a girl named Riley's house, and we played games there! Like Dyrk(or Smurff...) Where we think of an action as a group while one person is hiding and not listening. and that person comes back and asks different questions to try to figure out what Dyrking is... we had a few random Dyrks, like Flushing the Toilet, Checking someone out, and leaving the fly open... yeah! All very Awkward(Checkin someone out... oh yeah! not so awkward...) But it was so funny how people would get so close and get so confused, and we all end up giving them hints so they finally get it! It was so much fun! Nate was really fun to on a date with I would totally go on another date with him again!! :D I enjoyed getting to know him! :D I definitely made a new friend! :D

I feel a lot better now!

So last night, I didn't like the feelings that I was having, and I feel like a complete jerk! I shouldn't be feeling Jealous, because I'm not with Kevin anymore, but feelings and the Natural man take over with out even realizing it! It's a natural instinct... and I pretty much Hate it! And the last time I let my instincts go way out of hand, It kicked me directly in the butt! Anyways, last night I was actually doing my personal prayers, and I pretty much said What I felt and asked for those feelings to be taken away through the Atonement of Christ, and Holy Cow! Those feelings drained out of me as if I had a vacuum on my head! It felt so amazing to have some peace! I Love the Atonement like crazy! I honestly feel like I can live through anything! :D And sorry, about my last post! I was pretty frustrated, and needed to vent some!

Moody Again!!! :P Why? Because Dating other guys sucks!

***WARNING**** GIRL IN A BAD MOOD... JUST LET ME VENT!!! DATING AROUND IS JUST PLAIN HARD!!!******


Gah! I hate these days when I get so moody that I lock myself in my room and not want to talk to anybody... Yeah! Exactly today is one of those days! I'm so stressed out! I don't even know where to begin! So Kevin and I are dating around so that we can have some experience! Yeah... I haven't really been on a date, because I don't get asked out! And I'm too shy, and when I do buckle down and ask someone on a date, they are too busy to go... Bleck! Why do I even try? I HATE DATING!!!! I just want to be done! Anyways, he has a hard time asking girls out... but on Monday, he was introduced to a girl that he was checking out at his FHE... And aparently she has the same personality as I do... that it's confusing him, and he doesn't know what to do now! Gah! I'm pretty much going to leave it up to him for the choosing, cause I'm not going to tell him what to do... one because we aren't together at the moment... and also he knows how to make his own choices! So yeah... and things with her are a splitting image of our relationship! It's so weird! And to tell you the truth I am over reacting way too much and I need to calm down! So yeah! My life is so amazing right now! :P

I'm slowly cooling down, and I'm sorry for venting! I needed to get it off my chest! I know people say that Dating can be an experience of a lifetime before getting married, I had that fun in High School! And to most people that doesn't even count! In High School, there were times where I wished I had a Boyfriend that would Love me for who I was, and someone to cuddle with, someone to talk to, someone to hug! You know what I mean? The other part of me just wanted to have fun with different guys, and It was really fun! I went to every Girls choice dance I could after I turned 16, and to a couple boys choice(only Junior prom was the better one out of all of them Jr. and Sr Home coming, and Sr. Prom felt awkward for me...), and I had fun! I went on a few dates as well... I don't regret being single in High School! And I had fun! I know it sounds like I want to rush into Marriage... That's not the case! I'm just tired of thinking that I won't be asked out and I know I won't! So what's the point of doing it? When Guys won't ask me out at all? I have asked guys out before, but it always looks like that I'm desperate for a date! I'm self caucious about it! And it is driving me nuts! I just want to be done! I'm having senioritis bad with the Dating thing! That in someways can be a bad thing! :(




So yeah... I'm done! I'm sorry that you had to read my ventage! I normally do that on the blog... but I didn't really want to write the ventage down!

One of those Days... :P

You know one of those days when you are really moody, and you don't realize it till something so little comes along right at ya and ticks you off right on the spot? Yeah! Today was one of those days for me! And to be honest with ya, I hate those days! :P

It was a busy day at work, kinda slow at the beginning as usual... but, I don't know I was kinda edgy the whole day, and didn't really realize it... I was just plain frustrated... life has been stressful lately for various reasons, and I try to do my best to focus, then I fall, then go back up and then I fall again... Let me tell ya! Heavenly Father is one patient man! And I thank and Love him for it, even though there are times where I may not even deserve the Love he gives me and the patience he has! Anyways, After work, I was waiting for the bus, and the bus was 12 minutes late! What the Heck? I can handle 10 minutes late cause I sometimes get out of work a little late and and actually make it about a minute before the Bus comes most of the time... but today, was one of those days where I left on time from work, and the bus was later than I expected... I like the 10 minutes late, but those minutes cost you when you need to go to a evening Institute class that starts shortly before I catch the bus to head there! I end up being an hour late to see the last half hour or so... And Knowing the teacher enough, he understands why I come late, and he is a dear friend of mine as well! I usually stay after to talk with him! He's one of those people that know me really well and he hasn't even known me for 2 years yet! He used to be a bishop so Kevin and I like to get some feedback from him on a friendship level to get a boost of advice to help us improve with what ever it is we need to improve! Brother Peterson is pretty much my favorite Institute teacher! Anyways, I get to the connection point of where I need to switch buses to head to UVU, and I almost miss the bus(of which I wouldn't have if the bus was on time according to the 10 minutes late ordeal), and the bus was like, why didn't you get on when I first got here? Uhh, Hello! Because we weren't there yet! And thank you for stopping anyways! I appreciate it so that I wouldn't have to miss the class I Look forward going to every week!

And get this! Yesterday, Some weird guy that happend to have been waiting for the bus I was getting on as well, and he told me his name(I forgot) and his age, which was kind of creepy! He asked if I was Married, and I scoffed and said, "No, I'm not married yet, I'm only 19 years old." And then he said that I should be married! Should I take that as a compliment that some creepy single 38 year old is telling me that I should be married by now? I don't know... It was just different to hear that... Especially where I've had people think that I still look like I'm in Jr. High and High School! High School I don't mind that makes me look like I'm at least 2-3 years younger than what I really am... and that'll be a good thing when I get older! I have my daddy's baby face! Woot! :D