All three of these pictures were taken when Deitrick and I first started dating.
Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of when Deitrick and I broke up. I have mixed feelings about it. I still miss the good times we had while we dated, and I still have somewhat of a connection with him. I can say I'm doing a lot better today cause if you, really think about it or when I look back. I wasn't in a good situation, I wasn't as happy as I thought I was when I was with him. I still respect him for letting me go, he loved me enough to let me go do the things that I felt and he knew were important to me(that was getting myself back to the temple). At the time he said that he wanted the same thing, but I don't know where he's at in that process at this time. There are qualities in him that I did like, and I would like to have that in my future spouse. Anyways, I'm not going to talk about my ex today. I'm going to talk about myself.
My friends and family have witnessed the change I've gone through. And I'm so much a better person today than I was a year ago! Last year I had probably the worst attitude that I've had in my life! And that was super crazy and it was ridiculous! I prayed for a best friend to help me through cause, I know that family is always constant, but I also needed a friend that I could trust, and confide in whenever I had a hard time! Literally a couple weeks later,(on my younger sister's birthday), I met my best Friend Amanda Fox! She has helped me through so much and visa versa! She has encouraged me to do so many good things, we've done so much together it's so awesome! I Love it! She has been there when I told my parents that I wasn't in good standing (July), And I've been so grateful for my parents Love and Support through this tail end of the process and they've seen so much tears this past year, and they got to see tears of joy when I received full fellowship in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It has felt so good! I'm still waiting for a calling in my ward! But I'm probably close to getting one soon! I so want to feel more accepted into my ward and so excited that I'm getting to know new people everyday! Especially when it's harder for me to go up to someone and say "Hi! My name is Natasha. What's yours?" Yeah, I let other people come up to me instead!
Last Tuesday, I went to the temple with one of my roommates, and for some reason she was a little bugged that I took so long getting ready for everything. When I go to the temple, that is a time when all time just freezes and I just want to embrace the feeling of the temple! I refuse to just go to the temple and go through the motions and not even ponder where I'm at. I've done that once before, I'm going to do my best not to do that again! I've lost the privilege of going to the temple once, I'm going to do whatever it takes to not do that again! I desire to be a temple going person! I want to fulfill my calling as a tribe of Ephriam and go to the temple every week to feel the spirit of our Heavenly Father, I want to help those that want to join the Church that are on the other side! I look forward to when I have the opportunity to go through the temple and receive my endowments to make new covenants with Heavenly Father! I'm doing my best to be patient though! haha! But, I do look forward to the future with full intent to follow God's will. The gospel is so important to me, I can't loose that part of me again! Thanks for Reading, I know I was rambling, I didn't know exactly how to start the whole thing! haha! :P
"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous
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