Through Heaven's Eyes

Today, I was thinking of what to blog about, and it couldn't exactly come to my mind till just a couple minutes ago. And I can't exactly put in anyway that I can say it bluntly. Thanksgiving was a couple days ago, not only that I'm thankful to be alive and breathing and have a Loving Family and friends in my life to keep me going! This year has been an uplifting year! Because about half of this year I was out of the house learning a lot! I had friends in my ward that called on me to check on how I was doing, and if I needed anything. And they'd call when I was feeling a little homesick. As well as they'd invite me to go out and do things and just have fun! :D




My mom and my siblings Mother's day 2009


My family at my Grandparent's 50th Anniversary


Girls Night Out with People I work with!


Deitrick and Collin Arm Wrestling on my 20th Birthday



Me and Jessica Fratcher



Me and My Friend Larry Fullenwider(Rainbow!)

I'm Grateful for Larry! He is a really good friend of mine that I've been able to get to know while I dated Deitrick! And We're just really good friends, He has helped me so much lately trying to keep me happy and distracted from my thoughts of "Depression" with getting over Deitrick and getting myself to move on in my life! I've extremely happy for Rainbow now that he has a Girlfriend of his own! It's so cute to see how Twitterpated he is! And I happen to be really good friends with his Girlfriend as of quite recently. I met her at Ward Prayer on my Younger Sister's Birthday, Her Name is Amanda Fox! I love her to Death! She is so sweet! And always texts me here to see how my day was! As well as we spend a lot of Girl time together(to Larry's dismay...;) jk). But seriously! I Love those two! Just had to put it out there! :D

Lately I've had a couple people tell of how grateful they are for me! For Listening to them or simply just giving them a smile. A couple weeks ago, I had a lady come into my work and I guess I went to school with a couple of her sons with her oldest in my Graduating class. One day she came in and she told me to keep her sons and her daughter in my prayers because they were struggling a little bit. Also I told her to have hope and she started crying. She said, "My Husband and I are sealed, but he didn't have my kids get baptised." And she also said that she just recently started getting herself back to church. I told her that I was struggling a little bit(won't talk about my struggles yet...)and she told me that she would put my name in the Temple Prayer roll.

A few days later she came through the Drive thru at my work. And she asked if I remembered her(Honestly How could I forget someone that just recently got personal with me the other day... I haven't really had her off my mind since then!), I said yes, she said that she kept her word and put my name in the prayer roll! Oh my gosh I felt so touched! And she also mentioned that it was her first time doing so! Talk about an amazing Lady she is! I hardly knew her sons in School, but knew of them because they worked with the the "LTV"(Lehi Television) at my high school. And she told me that her sons think Highly of me. After she said that I was I guess you can say shocked? I thought How can I make an impact in someone's life if I hardly know them at all? And I thought, Heavenly Father knows me the best out of everybody that knows me, and he has placed people in my life, and he's placed me into other people's life to impact their life in such a way that it may be possitive or Negative and visa versa.

I thought of this Song that's from the Movie "Prince of Egypt" If you haven't seen this movie yet let me explain the part of the movie this song comes from. It's based on the Old Testament Story of Exodus and it's where Moses runs away after "Commiting a Murder" and finds himself in a Dessert with a small tribe of people in Meridia and the Priest of Midian is Jethero, He has I think about 5 Daughters and is Invited to this dinner after Moses helping four of Jethero's Daughters with some Theives. And Right before they start eating Jethero is Thanking everyone that came and Welcoming Moses saying "And we shall also give thanks to this Brave young Man, of Whom we Honor here tonight." Moses, says that "I don't deserve anything not even a thanks. I'm not worth anything"(or something to that extent in the Movie, but you get my point).
Jethro told him "Why you saved Tziporah from Egypt and helped my Daughters witht he Brickens...(Theives)." And starts singing this song! And I Love it like crazy!


Through Heaven's Eyes
Sung by Brian Stokes Mitchell
Movie: Prince of Egypt

[Jethro]
A single thread in a tapestry
Through its color brightly shine
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountain's mighty face
Does it think it's more important
Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life

Look at your life through heaven's eyes
Lai-la-lai...

A lake of gold in the desert sand
Is less than a cool fresh spring
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy
Is greater than the richest king
If a man lose ev'rything he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heaven's eyes

And that's why we share all we have with you
Though there's little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
There's a lot to go around

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance
And though you never know all the steps
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance
Lai-la-lai...

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heaven's eyes
Look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through heaven's eyes"

Hearing this song always makes me feel so happy because I Love the voice that's singing it is amazing! As well as the line that says "Look at your life through Heaven's eyes" Lifts me up like crazy! I am of Great Worth, A Daughter of our Heavenly Father! And Nobody can bring that down! I'm so grateful for this life, and so grateful for the Atonement! What the heck would I do with out it? No idea! Lost! Probably wouldn't even be here! What else would be there to live for?
"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous!

Amazing Day at work!

Monday, I went to work expecting it be kinda busy, and drag a little. But it didn't end out that way one bit! When we first opened up, a sweet lady came in to get her prescription. And I asked for her ID because it was a controlled. And I saw that it was expired, and she showed me her new temporary license. As she was putting away her expired license she asked herself if she wanted to throw it away or not. She immediately said "No, this has a picture of my long hair!" And I looked at it and her hair in the picture was just past her chin not quite to her shoulders. And we just talked about hair and how fun it is to style long hair! And that she wants to grow it out so that she can do what her daughter does.

Now here is what made my day amazing! This sweet lady is 39, and has short hair like short, but she pulled it off! She was sharing that 6 months ago, she was 38 at the time, and she had a pretty bad stroke. Where She had to have brain Surgery. Her hair was shaved off. The Doctors thought she wasn't going to make it, and if she were to wake up at all she would in bed the rest of her life in a vegetative state. But, that wasn't what happened. With how young she is she's been able to heal from the stroke very well so far. When she woke up, she had no idea what happened. She remembered having the stroke, with a bad Headache, but didn't remember what happened after that. And left her wondering. I felt a portion of being the person hearing about/and witness a loved one have a stroke. I was 15 when my Grandpa Bourne had his stroke, and we were all worried. I have a cousin that had a stroke at 28 or 30. Scary, I heard about it from my Dad. My dad said that he has never heard his sister sound so frantic in a such a situation. It was freaky to hear about it!

Now, Get this, she was going on about the experience, she started talking about how much that experience has changed her perspective in Life. And that Life is too short to take it for granted! She mentioned something personal that I'll keep silent. But I felt so happy for her for and felt really touched that she shared that! She told me that she thanked me for letting her talk! And that she needed it and it helped her!

Most of her sight in her left eye is back! And she's been able to drive now for 3 months! Keep going my friend! I hope more amazing things happen in your life! You've touched me more than you know! :D




"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous

Adoption

November is Adoption Awareness month!!! :D I have friends that are Birth mothers, and have friends that have Adopted Children whether they are open or they are closed Adoption. My Friend Stefanie Despain is a Birth Mother that is pretty open with her Story! As well as her adoption is open! She is one of the strongest people I know! She has grown so much with in the past 2 years or so! And I'm so happy for her that she recently got married to the most Amazing Guy in September! :D And Living her own Happily Ever After! ;)

My Friend Cali Nelson Placed her Son for Adoption 3 years ago! And Let me tell ya! She is an amazing Co-worker and friend! I Love this Girl! Her adoption is Open, but she doesn't see him very often! But Like all Birth Mothers she has her own story, and she is an amazing person today because of it! Her Son is the Cutest little boy! She thinks Highly of him because of the Love she has for him! She shows pictures of me when ever she gets new pictures when we are working! She as well is Married and happy! She and her Husband have 2 cute little Girl Kittens! :D

I Love these Girls like crazy! Reading Stef's Blog has been amazing to follow this past year and a half since she was about 3 1/2 months Pregnant with her Birth Daughter. I always look forward to what comes next because she writes about anything from Adoption, work, Her Marriage, Olivia and her Adoptive family Dustinn, Valery, Bradshaw and Olivia Jackson, Friends, family, the Gospel, etc...

Cali, I see her almost everyday at work, and she is fun to work with! LOVE HER! haha!
She updates her blog when she can! But, she is one that doesn't talk about her Adoption... but when she needs the vent she does it, and reading her thoughts is so amazing to me, I Look up to both of these Girls! And I hope they don't mind me Bragging a little about them! ;)

"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous

Lagoon Frightmares

Last Saturday I went to Lagoon Frightmares with some friends and made a couple new ones that were in my group! :D My friend Larry Fullenwider invited me to go and luckily I was able to get someone to cover for me at work. I was up there for the whole day! haha! Crazy!

Grrrr! I can't upload pictures from my facebook... :( because when I try to transfer to my lap top they all have the same address or something like that... :P

Anyways, We rode pretty much all the rides(including re-entry(which is my least favorite! :P) We watched a hypnotist show! It was so entertaining! I should have volunteered for the heck of it, but I didn't. It was so much fun to watch people get so relaxed, a few people got so relaxed that they fell out of their chairs! But he just played with them and was saying towards the end that they would say that that experience was one of the best in their life! It was so much fun! At one point, he put them all to sleep(those that actually were hypnotised), he put them to sleep, and told them that when they woke up that they'd be 4 year olds and act as so innocent and cute and fun. When they woke up, he asked them what their favorite show was, most of them named Barney and Friends. Haha! One guy was like "I don't like Barney!" (heck yes! haha!). So he put him to sleep, and said that when he wakes up he would no longer be 4 years old. He would wake up and he'd be Barney, act like him. He gave him a purple cape with a green belly. When he woke up. The Hypnotist said "Boys and Girls please welcome Barney. They all cheered. And skipped around to the theme song. "Barney is a Dinosaur from our imagination..." Then when they were done with that, The hypnotist said, "Now Barney, our Audience has a special request to sing the famous song, 'I Love you' now kids while singing this you must sing as loud as you can, and go out and hug everybody in the audience." I got hugged by three people! It was so hilarious! :D haha! They were in the middle of doing that, and he said wake, and they were all so confused of what they were doing. He's like what are you guys doing? uhh.... I don't know... The guy that was Barney, he took off the costume and put it behind his shirt! haha! It was classic! The hypnotist gave them "500 dollar Bills" and said that when they woke up they would talk about their experience freely, and if anybody asks about the 500 dollar bills that they would deny that they have them. And when they went to bed they'd remember about the 500 dollar bill.

That show was so amazing! :D I went into two of the Haunted attractions(I hate Haunted stuff... :P) But my favorite one was the walls were painted with glow in the dark paint, and you had to wear 3D glasses, the only thing that I didn't like about it so much was that I had a head ache and the strogue lights just made that worse! :P other than that I enjoyed that part. Jumped a couple times, and the actors kept following me around! gah! Stay away from me, you're in my bubble!

Haha! I have friends that are like, oh! Guess what you're coming with us to go to Haunted Forest... Oh boy! haha! I even have a friend that works there! Oh JOY! This is going to be interesting!


"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous

Just Friends...

Deitrick and broke up... simply of the reason that we both prayed about it... and simply we aren't meant to be together... :( It was hard, and it still is, because I still have feelings for him! And He has the same feelings for me! The thing that was funny, we both came to that realization on the same day, and talked about it the next day in person... He was the one that brought it up, partly because I didn't want to break up yet... But it's for the best I guess... I'll learn to move on. We decided together to just be friends, of which I'd rather happen than a horrible break up ending in a fight and having drama all the time you run into each other and ignore each other... it's better to end on good terms and not talk than not talk at all...

This weekend Deitrick's phone turned off because his father turned it off... And I went crazy, because he is my best friend right now that I tell pretty much everything to! And him not having a phone, I just went crazy! I totally didn't sleep well the last 2 nights because I usually called him when going to bed and would chat with him for a little bit. I know it sounds like we're still together...

Since I moved back to my parent's house in Lehi, I have been I guess you can say a different person than what I've been used to for about a year! because I am back to my old ways of being home all the time and being bored... most of my friends that I enjoy hanging out with live in Orem/provo area, and I can't exactly go out and hang out with them... Buses always come late, or I go out end up having fun that I want to stay out late and not want to come home. I Love being home... but, when I was in Orem, It took me 5 to ten minutes to the bus stop to get me where ever I wanted to go, whether I was going to the mall, or to UVU, or to meet up with some friends to hang out... Or I had friends that lived a few minutes away to pick me up and drive somewhere to go have fun! It was so much easier to get around... where in Lehi, I Live about a mile away from the nearest Bus stop! I miss having my own space to just breath when needed, and having a place to myself for a couple hours or so while my roommate was out and about. Here I am complaining about everything in my life is so messed up and what not... I need to start thinking about what I am truly thankful for! Probably things will look better that way!

Today, I'm grateful that I at least have a job. I don't like my work environment right now... Which I know is at every work place you go to. But at Where I work, it used to not be the way it is right now... People still gossiped which I chose to stay out of that and still do...But it was kind of a party! I worked with a ton of great and fun people. Through this past year and a half it feels like everything is changing. People are more moody than usual, I can understand every once in a while... but everyday? Gah! I want to be happy at work! And finding a better job right now is not going so well... :P

As you all know I failed the test for the 3rd time... I'm not sure if I want to take the test again... :( How sad is that? :( If I do take the test again I'll probably take it in November... Cause I think by then I'll be ready to do it again and my mind will be more clear!


This past weekend I got a New book! :D Backlash by Traci Hunter Abramson(my favorite Author! :) It's a really good book! haha!

Yesterday(October 17,2010), I got to go to Ward Prayer with my ward in Orem! Oh it was nice to see people again! I Miss that ward like crazy! It felt better to be around Deitrick when other people were around, but when we were alone driving in the car to a destination, it was tough! I wanted to cuddle, hug, and just be close, and just feel Loved! I told him when I dropped him off at his house, that I liked being with him when being with a Group of people. Being alone with him just drove us crazy! And it would just hurt us more!

Right now, I'm not wanting to be home... I'm wanting to be out and about doing things with friends so that I won't think too much! Basically I want to distract myself even though I can't deny what I felt for deitrick was real. I just need friends and be more social and put myself out there! And just have fun! Just not too much fun right?! haha! :D
"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous

Grr...what started with a crapy week, ending a lot better! :D

Well, I failed the Pharmacy Tech test again... I'm really starting to wonder if this path is right for me...? :P I shouldn't fail a test 3 times! I'll try to take it again... I'm just so confused with it! :P I don't know really if I want to try for a 4th time... :(

I did find a plan B if things don't work out... I don't really care if I don't get the job because it probably will just tell me to try again! I seriously just want a good steady income to help me get back to school and get back out on my own as well as benefits to help cover for TMJ Treatment... Friday a friend of mine put on facebook that jet blue airlines are hiring Inflight crew till the 26th. And she would send a recommendation letter, we just needed to let her know that we sent in an application. I think it would be pretty fun to travel, I just wouldn't be home so much... :( But they have great benefits, I would be able to get Health, eye, Dental, and Life insurance! My family and I would be able to get discount tickets to fly. It would be awesome to have that for when we go up to the Calgary, Alberta Temple Open house.

My Friend Stefanie Grawe Despain got married Friday! :D I'm so excited for her! :D Congrats Mr and Mrs. Despain on your Marriage!!! :D


"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous

Deitrick's Birthday and Six months...

September 2nd is Deitrick's Birthday, this year he turned 22! :D I was able to have the day off to spend the whole day with him! :D It was so much fun! :D I slept at my friend's house the night before, then in the morning, Deitrick and our friend Larry came and picked my friend Jessica Fratcher up and we went out for ihop for Breakfast/lunch. Then went and looked at Deitrick's favorite Car the Sion TC. It looks pretty awesome! :D



See! Looky! It's pretty sweet! :D



See look at the engine! on the left side is where you can change the oil, and other liquids that you are able to fix with out ruining the engine.. the right side you see the battery, and other things that, only the mechanic can play with to fix what ever can go wrong... there is so much room! :D

Then we helped Jessica what was wrong with her car, which was crazy, she needs to sell that thing for parts... or something... cause the Battery was out of shape like crazy! :P And the alternater was bad, and other things were wrong! :P Since it was an automatic it was jerking at certain rpms, and it was a automatic that you could drive manual... it was skipping a gear... and it was kinda scary to ride in... :P

After that, we went up to the Gateway mall, and just walked around and looked at a couple stores... :D I think we had a good time! :D


"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous