I know some people are having a bit of a flag going up because we only officially started dating 2 weeks ago... But in all reality we started dating with in 5 days of him being home from his mission in July. But we both had the feeling that we were going to get married. He was stubborn about it at first then I got stubborn about it when Chad got home. Why? Because, I knew both of them really liked me and wanted to be in a relationship with me. I basically kept a void from both of them to figure things out for myself. And besides I wanted to make sure I was in good standing with the Church before I made any decisions for myself. Because, I knew I was insecure with that fact in mind.
Chad got baptized in September and then left to go do some more things with the U.S Navy. That was when we started going on dates more frequently since I live in Orem now. In October he asked me to go to a date dance at the Orem institute of Religion that was in November. That dance had some good memories that brought a little bit of fear in myself because, I was starting to have some feelings for him that I don't think I've had for someone before. Of course, I kinda pushed it away. This time I was being stubborn, shortly after thanksgiving, he shared to me his feelings and he hoped that I would have an open mind and heart about it and pray about it. And since we usually went to the temple together to do baptisms, I told him that I wanted to go alone this time so that I could pray and think about it on my own. I wanted to know the Lord's will!
Now, I received a revelation the next morning that I would be receiving my endowments soon, and that was more of an incentive to go to the temple that day after work. I went and was there for almost 3 hours just praying and pondering about everything that was going to happen. I was a little scared cause I knew what was coming and I was worried that I would end up hurt or something that was not moral. But, I was told more specifically to just give him a try and it will go from there and things will fall into place! Well, it did after I gave in and stopped being stubborn about the subject of Jordan. It took some talking with my best friend cause, I had a bit of a scare or anxiety, because, again I knew what was coming(marriage), I have never felt like this and I didn't know how to react! I was so nervous but Amanda told me that I haven't given myself a chance yet to truly heal from my previous relationship I had with Deitrick and haven't tested myself much to keep myself out of situations I shouldn't be in. And with how much Jordan respects me already, and I've practiced respect with him so much with in the past few months. He didn't hug me unless he truly knew I wanted him to hug me or have him hold me for comfort.
My bishop told me in an interview that I'll know that someone truly loves and respects me when they wait a month or more to kiss me. That meant that he wanted to get to know me for who I am and not just physically. I'm worried about this time of being engaged but I'm not going to let those fears control me! I want to do the best I can to have control and practice not being alone with my fiance before we get Married in August! Every time I thought about Jordan with in the past few months, I knew for myself that I was being stubborn. I asked why am I not letting myself to be with someone that actually does respect me and appreciates for who I am and the trials I've gone through. Someone that loves and looks forward to being with me! And knows how I tick but respects that boundary!
I'm seriously happy! And so glad that he's apart of my life and grateful that I get to be by his side! I do Love him. I love how funny he is and his wonderful kind personality. He is my world and my life, and my best friend(other than Amanda).
Now that you kind of know of the back history of our relationship. I'll tell you what happened leading up to the proposal. Last weekend, we were talking more and more about marriage and our future and how we felt about it. We are nervous about this next step, but we feel right about everything that's to come. At ward prayer, that's when things really started to hit. No matter how hard we tried to avoid the topic it always came up. a member of my bishopric was the spotlight and the spiritual thought. Now, of course people are going to ask how he and his wife met and about his family. Jordan and I were laughing so hard it was so funny! During the spiritual thought, I noticed Jordan having a bit of a hard time. He went quiet. I knew something was up and I didn't know but I had a feeling that it had to do with us. After it was done, he was filled with fear, and we talked about what he was thinking when we got to the car. We went for a more for a drive, and figured out what was up. We started talking about our patriarchal blessings and I felt impressed to share with him a part of my patriarchal blessing. I felt that he needed to read my 3 paragraphs about my husband, and future family. He had me read other parts and compared. We felt that they compared, we weren't sure how to react at all. We both knew for sure that we needed to tell someone and receive a blessing. He felt impressed to ask my Dad.
So we went to my parents house, and received priesthood and Father's blessings. I only remember a couple things in my blessing, to budget and manage my time the next months ahead carefully. Jordan received his and we all had a bonding moment after that. The spirit really filled the room. We truly felt God's love for us and that we knew that he was aware of everything that was going on. It was wonderful! The days leading up to Christmas were days that things were still sinking in, I knew that I wanted to have my immediate family and my Best friend Amanda to know what was going on! :) Frankly I thought it was going to be a few months before he would actually pop the question. I knew that it was coming Christmas Eve when I was reading through January's Ensign about what Happy LDS couples do to stay happy or something like that. :) As well as a friend of mine mentioned "Well it's that time of year where couples spend time with each other's family's and boyfriend asking the father permission to have their Daughter's hand. I wonder how many friends will get engaged this month?" I remember thinking "Well, I think I'm going to be one of those friends." Baha! I had a little bit of excited jitters! It was rather interesting!
Christmas Eve on the way home, he had me listen to "Marry Me?" By: Train. I seriously knew that was it after waiting to see if he would do it in front of his family or something...I don't know why I seriously thought that... haha! We listened to the whole song, and he rewound it to listen to the Chorus. Here are the Lyrics.
Forever can never be long enough for meFeel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm
After hearing the song he said something like this (he may remember more of what exactly what he said), "I would rather have a ring, and I don't know how ever else to say this but, Will you Marry Me?" Of course I said YES! :)
We know August is the Month to get married. We are thinking about the date so that family will be able to attend the sealing! :) I seriously look forward to seeing my family together(that's including his side of the family!)
Thank you all for reading my blog and celebrating this wonderful occasion and excitement! I'm seriously happy and so excited and grateful! Love You All! <3
"Life is tough but it's even tougher When you're stupid." (Do what works in Life) -Anonymous
